


TREEHOUSE ➙ K. Kozume

by forrestfics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Other, YouTuber Kozume Kenma, gender neutral reader, nothing bad just weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forrestfics/pseuds/forrestfics
Summary: ❛ do not enter is written on the doorway, why can't everyone just go away. except you, you can stay. ❜↳ in which kenma kozume learns how to love, the right way.┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓contains: fluff and angstgender neutral readerstarted: january 17th, 2021{ disclaimer! }i do not own haikyuu or any of thecharacters mentioned.i only own the plot to this story.┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. 1 - SMOKE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to follow the music that's in the story line, play the following songs when the * comes up  
> first * ~ treehouse by alex g  
> second * ~ pluto projector by rex orange county

"Kenma, I'm home!" You called out. Shaking off the snow from your boots, the warm air of your apartment slowly seeped through the layer of cold. You peeled of your jacket and your hat as you looked around for Kenma. The lights were off in the hallway as well as the kitchen, which was unusual. Even if he was streaming, Kenma usually still kept the lights on in the kitchen in case he wanted to get something to eat.

"Baby? You there?" You said again, but you stopped as you saw a soft red glow coming from the room you and Kenma shared. You cracked the door open as quietly as possible to see what was going on, and that's when you smelled it.  
Weed.

You turned around and sighed to yourself. As much as you also enjoyed smoking, you were hoping to have a chill, sober night with Kenma. But that already didn't seem to be going the way you hoped.

Reluctantly, you cracked open the door more.

"Kenma?" You called softly.

"Hi love." Kenma purred, his eyes heavy lidded. He was propped up by a few pillows on your bed. You could hear Tame Impala playing in the background. A joint dangled from his hand lazily.

"Hey." You said quietly. You perched on the side of the bed.

"Come here." Kenma instructed, his words drawling. You pulled yourself on top of him, leaning down to meet his face. He gave you a stare while cocking his eyebrow ever so slightly. You knew what it meant, so you nodded. He pulled himself up to reach your mouth. Your lips connected and he released a puff of smoke accompanied by a sign into your mouth.

You breathed it in, leaning up from Kenma to blow it out to the side. Your muscles relaxed. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad.

"How was your day?" You asked as you layer your head on Kenmas chest. He reached up to stroke your hair.

"Shit." He replied, his tone a void of emotions.

There it was again. The parts of Kenma that irked you. He never shared anything about how he was feeling, which often caused communication problems. Plus, whenever you tried to talk about it with him, he would just push you off and seem even more quiet than usual.

"I'm... I'm sorry?" You said, almost as a question.

"It's okay, love. You're here now, which makes me feel better." He took a draw of the joint.

"Can I tell you about my day?" You asked timidly.

"Look, I would love to, but I'm really tired. Let's catch up tomorrow morning, okay?" Kenma said, giving you a loving look. His face was painted with a caring smile. Yet behind that sweet facade, his eyes still seemed to have an emotionless look. Did he even care?

"Yeah, I understand. It's okay." You replied. This was an often occurrence, and you were starting to get used to it. But every time Kenma pushed your feelings away, you still felt a little pang in your heart.

Kenma said nothing in return. Instead, he reached over to stroke your hair. For a moment you forgot about all the tension you've had with him and let your body relax. Heartbeat against heartbeat. You still felt at home with him. You still loved him.

What if that was one of your faults? Continuing to let him hurt you. Continuing to love him, no matter what he did.

Kenma interrupted your thoughts by moving his hand from your head to the top of your spine. He slowly trailed his fingers down. Once he reached the base of your spine, your muscles tensed in anticipation. Kenma let out a small laugh. He set down the joint, and moved each of his hands to the sides of your thighs.

If there was one thing Kenma was, it was intuitive. He always knew what he was doing to you. It always had you wondering, though, if all his knowing came from your transparency. You tried to hide your hurt from him. Your sadness. Or your pleasure. But it never seemed to work. Were you really that obvious?

*

As he rubbed your thighs, the music switched songs. Of course he had a full smoking playlist. The few notes of the next song came on and you sighed. It was your song. Yours and Kenma's.

_Do not enter is written on the doorway, why can't everyone just go away?_

You pulled yourself up to look at Kenma. You locked eyes. And suddenly, you remembered all over again why you fell for him in the first place. His eyes were the first thing to ever catch your attention. The beautiful golden brown color watched you with such delicacy you almost forgot about everything else in the world. All there was left was you and Kenma. It was peaceful.

Kenma began to hum along softly to the song. As the next line came up, he whispered it into your ear.

"Except you, you can stay."

It felt as if he had shot an arrow through your heart. But not an arrow entirely of hurt. Sure, there were many struggles in your relationship. But every time you were able to actually see the person you fell in love with, your Kenma, you felt at home and in love once more. A loving sort of pain.

"I still love you, you know." Kenma whispered. "I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but I do. And I'm trying."

You watched his eyes. It may have just been you, but it was almost as if they softened, letting in some of the harbored emotion.

You didn't know what to say. But you didn't have to.

Kenma wrapped his arms around you,  
holding you as close as possible. Like if he did anything more or less than that, you could flit away like a butterfly.

"I'm not going to leave you. I can't. I won't." You whispered, even quieter than Kenma.

But that was all it took. Kenma realized he had opened his heart. Let out the emotions he was so desperately bottling up. He adverted his eyes from you. The stone cold Kenma you were used to was back.

You sighed. The hurt poured back into your heart once more. But maybe not as much hurt as before.

The Kenma you fell in love with, the Kenma with so much feeling, so much pain and yet still so much love was still under there. What do you have to do to get that Kenma to resurface again?

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep." he said. You went to move, offering him more space, but his grip around you tightened.

"Please don't.. Don't leave." A sliver of emotion slipped into his words.

Your muscles released some tension. You buried your head in his neck, breathing in his scent.

"Okay." you replied. That was all that could be said.

As you drifted off to sleep, Kenma's heartbeat steady and relaxed, the next song came on.

*

Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County. 

_Stay forever, you know more than anyone._

Your dreams that night were filled with hints of Kenma. You dreamt you were walking in a field full of flowers, the sun shining bright. The clouds started moving in, and rain started trickling from the sky.

The suddenly, a small calico cat came out of nowhere. It watched you from the safety of a small forest for a long time. You stated at each other, waiting for the other to make a move. The rain started picking up, and it got darker.

Something in your gut told you to go the small cat, so you did. You ran fast and hard. The rain pelted against your skin, but you didn't care. Once you got to the cat, you stopped down to its level. It watched you with familiar eyes. Golden brown eyes.

Slowly, you extended a hand towards it head. It moved towards you reluctantly. All at once, you touched it's fur, and the clouds disappeared. The sky seemed to open up. It revealed a sky full of stars. You stumbled to sit down, eyes glued on the millions of tiny lights dotting the dark blue overhead. You didn't notice it at first, but the cat had climbed into your lap, purring softly. You stroked it's head and felt a feeling of utter peace slide over your brain and body.

Everything was okay.


	2. 2 - CHANGE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to follow the music that's in the storyline, play the following songs when the * comes up  
> first * ~ when the world caves in by matt maltese  
> second * ~ i can't handle change by roar

You woke the next morning to a cold bed, with Kenma nowhere to be found.

"Baby?" You called out. Your voice was soft and quiet from just waking up. Glancing around the room for Kenma, you noticed a pile of the clothes he was wearing last night on the floor.

You slowly climbed out of bed. Shivering, you grabbed a sweatshirt and walked into the kitchen. The light was on, contrary to last night.

"Kenma?" You said again, turning to look down the halls. All the other lights were off.

Sadly, this was a common occurrence. Kenma was never good at recognizing others needs or how his actions affected them. He often would leave without telling you where he was going, or when he would be back.

"I might as well make something to eat." You mumbled to yourself. Grabbing a bowl, you made yourself some cereal and then continued to look for Kenma.

Although it was common for him to leave the small apartment you shared, usually there was a reason, or something preplanned. You racked your brain to try and remember if there was anything Kenma has planned today, or any special outing he had to do. That's when you remembered.

His video game.

Kenma has been designing a game for the past few months. That was one of the reasons he had been so distant. The few times he did make time to spend with you, you always tried to ask about the game and how it was going. It seemed to be one of the few things he really enjoyed.

Today, he was going to Nintendo to try and license the game with them. If they said yes, his game could make a lot of money. Kenma always talked about his dreams of opening his own game company, and it might finally become a reality.

"God, how could I forget that was today." You quietly cursed yourself. Suddenly, you heard the door open.

"Kenma? Is that you?" You said, setting down your bowl and making your way to the front door.

Kenma was standing at the front door, looking like a walking corpse. His face seemed pale and sunken. His shoulders were slumped and his hands lay limply at his sides.

"Oh." You said. You understood. His game had been rejected.

"They said it was a basic idea. Done before. No one would buy it. They hated it." Kenma said, head still hung, staring at the floor.

"Oh." You repeated. What were you supposed to say to that? You stood in silence, watching Kenma.

"Well, I'm sure they didn't _hate_ -" You started. Suddenly, Kenma's head shot up to look at you, his eyes angry.

"Yes actually. They did hate it. God, do you ever give up? Why won't you accept for once that everything can't be perfect? You're so fucking stupid sometimes. Stop trying to make everything happy. What you do never works. It won't work." He retorted.

This was the most angry you had ever seen Kenma before. His eyes showed no sympathy for the insults he had just shot at you.

You stated back at him for a while, not sure what to reply with. You settled on a simple:

"Okay."

That was all you said back. And you slowly turned back around, not caring to wash your cereal bowl. You could hear Kenma throwing down his bags by the front door.

You walked into your room, closing the door as quietly as you could. That was when you broke.

Your sobs shook your entire body, gripping onto a blanket on the floor. You no longer cared if Kenma heard you. He should know what he did to you.

You cried for hours, curled into a fetal position on the floor. Every time your sobs would quiet, the image of Kenma's face, angry and broken, would flood into your head, making you cry all over again.

You cried until you couldn't anymore. The taste of salty tears lingered in your mouth. Glancing up from the floor, the sky was dark outside. Had it really been that long?

Not caring to get up, you grabbed your phone and plugged in your earbuds. Stumbling to play music, you selected your playlist titled "crying until I can't anymore".

The name seemed appropriate.

Hitting shuffle, the music flooded your ears.

*

"As The World Caves In" by Matt Maltese.

Currently, your world was caving in. Kenma was your world. He was caving in. So in return, you were too.

_And it's you, as I lie awake._

It had always been him. Ever since you had seen him your first day at Nekoma High. Everyone always seemed to go for his friend, Kuroo. He was much louder, more confident, more extroverted. But yet, Kenma was the one you wanted all along.

_**Buzz Buzz** _

Speak of the devil. Kuroo had texted. Glancing at the bright phone screen, you read the text.

_**9:58 PM** _

**Kuroo: I'm guessing you know?**

You didn't hesitate to answer.

**You: Yeah.**

**Kuroo: Yeah well... I hope everything is going okay. If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out, ok?**

You could have poured our your heart into his messages, telling him about everything Kenma said that tore your glass heart into pieces. But you didn't.

**You: Okay. Thanks.**

The song ended with a haunting note. There was a brief moment of silence, then the next song started.

*

One note of the guitar was all it took for you to recognize it.

_I can't handle change. I can't handle change._   
_Nothing I do is ever good enough. Nothing I do is ever good._

It was just as Kenma had said. Nothing you had done was ever good enough.

Your heart broke again. A different type of crying, though. A numb longing. You longed for the Kenma you fell for. Not the emotionless yet angry Kenma you had now. The quiet Kenma with a brain full with a galaxy of ideas.

_I can't help but repeat myself I know it's not your fault. Still lately I begin to shake, for no reason at all._

You lay on the floor, tears streaming down your red cheeks. You felt like you were drowning. Sick and sad at the same time.

You lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling until you fell into a numb sleep.

Your dreams were laced with traces of Kenma's words. You were in the same field as the night before. Yet the cat was gone. When you walked to the tree you found it at last time, all you saw was a hole. It seemed to stretch down into the earth for miles. You didn't dare try and get close.

You walked back out into the field, laying down amongst the flowers. Some of them had died.

You watched the stars. That was all you could do. Even while dreaming, the questions that plagued your mind during the day were still there.

Why did you still love him when he didn't act like he loved you back?

Did he even love you back at all?

And why couldn't you stop loving him?


End file.
